Again left down

Been saving money for flight ticket to Sweden. I really wanted to go the next holiday. Setted out mind and everything. Tho we never asked Hin's parents. I didnt really asked mine. More  like told them "im planning to go Sweden" Since Hin couldnt come i tho i'll make the move and go. But Hin's parents want him to focus on study and work. So i probably wont be able to go after all. I'll have to wait till christmas if Hin somehow cant talk his parents out. Somehow i can still think positive "i can save the money to spend in HK with Hin". But im really missing him. Want to hug him so much ne.. :/ I really have to wait till christmas..? But hope Hin's parents dont find me bothersome and annoying... If they want me to stay in DK really much, i wont fight back la... Wonder what Hin is thinking...
Been all Emo today. In school after school. I could barely laught. Or smile. Just stared most of the time forgetting what i was doing myself...
BUT even tho i feel like its hard i wont give up ò.ó no no no no. Difinitely cant give up.
He means too much to me.

School started..

Yup yup. School have started... Actually i was really afraid of starting 2rd class. Because it might be hard with all the homework... But happily its not that hard right now. Probably because i just started xD But if it keep like this it would be nice T_T Oh man.. I have to wake up early everymorning now. That sucks... Everymorning so cold and all alone... But ye! Enorgh about that!

I just counted not so long ago.. And theres like 10-11 weeks before i'll see Hin again. Thats so long!! ;_; Dam.. I wonder if i can go a weekend or something. Tho i have no money.. Im like repeating myself again and again to mine classmates "I miss Hin..." is about time they so counting for one day lol. 

Today in class i drew Jerry and Ivy couple Chibi. 

Yea kind of new style.. I really like it XD I met a new girl in the other class beside who talk cantonese too. So nice. And she draw too. She draws awesome! And her colorful drawing was so catchy that i started doing that too. Thats how it turned out. I drew me and Hin too.

Which one cuter? lol. 

Thats for today ! !

<3 <3 <3

Missing that it hurts...♥

 ♂  ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇  ♀ 

Almost been a month since i left Sweden. Ye.. We're still lovey dovey. But im missing him so indescribable much.. Lately everyday going home or on comp is always him. Everytime im not doing anything or just abit free handed the words "I miss him..." will repeat in my head again and again. Is about to drive me crazy... (Well it did already yesterday). Yesterday totally broke down over missing him and the distance. Cried lots in the middle of night where everyone was asleep. But im better now. Im glad im someone whos bright again right after waking up from sleep.. Els i'll srly be a emo XD But puh.. Is hard. But should fight on neh? x) Impossible for me to give up anyway. So theres nothing els to do than keep on. Save up money to meet him as soon as possible. Work hard work hard..! Wonder how many people in the world have it way worse with relationship. Guess im just spoiled.. But cant help it. I wish i could sleep everynight without thinking too much about him. Just jump on bed and bump your sleeping. That would be nice. All those negative and pain wont be there then. When school starts will i think lesser of him so it will be lesser painful? Or will school stress me so much that i wish he was beside me? Hope the first one.. =/

Phew. Is late. Night!

♥　♥　♥　♥　

Back from Sweden ♥

The first day reaching Sweden i was already thinking "Uh oh.. Only 12 days before i have to go back to Denmark...". And the day i left Sweden i cried. Alot of things have happened this time. Me and Hin is finally official together. Made me really happy. And my first kiss is gone too. In Sweden i felt really warmt and loved. Everyone was nice to me. Ofc Hin was the one that always was at my side. Im so happy to have him in my life! Tinge, Jerry, Kin, Hei was really nice to me too. Everyone gave me two birthday cake. The first one kind of failed abit... Cuz the surprise failed xD. But the 2nd was really nice. Even thought i already had a idea of the surprise cake it was nice. Everyone smiled and ate cake. And everyone had fun. It was the day before i left Sweden. Im so thankful for everything >__<. 

♥♥♥

I know that now that im together with Hin makes his friend feel annoyed. Over im sticking to him too much, taking too much of his time, and we always lovey dovey around. I cant seems to change it thought... But im thankful for they dont hate me for it. (I hope..) I love all of them for sure! I met Ivy too this time. Shes nice and is easy to be around :D I like. 

Now that im back to Denmark i miss Hin alot. Seems like everything so empty. Hes not beside me when i sleep. Not behind me when im at the comp. Not able to kiss or hug. I see him almost everyday over webcam thought. But not being able to be close to him is sad. Both seems to be down because we cant reach each other. Im trying to keep myself busy to make me think of something els. But dont work. Everytime i see a single little thing that reminds me of him a little bit i start to miss him... This distance is painful.

♥♥♥

Keep thinking. Wouldnt it be wonderful if i moved in with him? Wouldnt it be nice if i had Doreamons magic pocket? Wouldnt it be nice if Stockholm and Copenhagen crashed together to one? Silly thought come out. But no matter what. I dont plan to end the relationship. Cuz im still happy. I just can be even more happy if he was beside me. (like double so happy). But i'll fight the painfulness and wait till the times comes where i can be beside him everyday, where i can stroke his hair everyday, snuggle, cook with him, walk outside hand in hand with him and sit in train leaning to his shoulder! So now... Gotta keep myself busy with something!!!

Mom mom mom

Not so long ago my mom made her rules that we have to play comp lesser than normally. And that i have to be on bed 2am. (I normally go bed 3-4am when is holiday). I got really pissed over the rules. Cuz im a simpel geek who is on the comp all the time. I totally cant image that i wont be able to talk with the most important people to me, until late. But i followed her rule. I didnt open my computer before dinner is over. Thats like 7pm. I cried alot the day she made those rules. She was like "Is bad for the healt and we have to spare money" I get the spare money part. But the bad for the healt. Aaa ic. Every sickness i have. Everytime my back hurts after doing gym, my legs hurts after biking. She comes up with "Because you sit infront of the comp too often". Then i made a joke "Even if i my little toe hurts is the computers fault.." and then she said "Of course!" and wanted to explain how, but i manage to get out of the room. But even so i followed her rules. Play comp after dinner. And almost everyday close 2am. (Yea sry for missing some days). I've always thought that she likes mine sisters more than me. But thats just a childish side. I always thought that the lack noticing me. Since little she didnt know much about me. Only that im clumsy etc. She didnt even know i went to high school. She didnt know i finished my exam. She didnt know i broke up with my ex. Thought my dad and sisters knew. And everytime when i change. And starts doing housework she wont notice. All she notice is mine sisters. (P.s i DONT hate my sisters or anything o_o dont misunderstand). Heki always tried to comfort me. Which makes me happier. But we can only talk over comp. Cuz sms is too expensive. It just went like that for almost 1½ week now. Then today she came into my room. And asked me a bit about tomorrow. Then she said "are you really playing lesser comp?" and i said "Ofc! I start playing after dinner gah!" And then kept nagging that i use electrick and too much water. Aa. I get it that we have to spare because our family isnt that rich lately. So i changed and did as she wanted. Then before she went out of my room she said "I see your little sisters are changing. But dont see you change." I sat there spreechless and stared at the door. I got really mad and same time sad. Walked out and said "I havent changed?? I..." then i could feel i started crying again. And then i turned and went into my room again. Sigh.. I really is a crybaby.. I cant hold in my tears when i get mad. And totally not when i want to talk too. Sitting inside hearing my sisters and mom talking outside in the living room about i dont spare the electrick etc. Though im not sure.. But i dont think my sisters said anything bad about me. Just my mom. And i cried again. When i went out for shower my sis was like "Whats wrong with you?" and mom are like "She wanna hit something??" because i walked abit louder. When i was under the shower i cried out because i couldnt be heard. Im srly tired of this... Why cant i say out what i want. Mom why cant u see im really sad and not just mad. Why dont u notice me? All this time you never knew when i was sad...? Dont tell me you think im happy 24/7. Ach.. writing this my tears falling again.. XD Shes pushing me further and further away. And i dont want to go back to the point to make her understand anymore...

I wanna move out..